i don't know how many of you out there listen to or like the band Tool, but they happen to be my favourite. 46&2 was one of the first songs I heard by them and it always stands out as one of my favourites (although I could say that about almost every one of their songs.. just not Disgustipated :| ) anyways! 46&2. "I wanna feel the change consume me, feel the outside turning in, I wanna feel the metamorphosis and cleansing I've endured in" could there be a better song to describe the desperate ways in which humans fight through life? "I'm down, digging through my old muscles looking for a clue, I've been crawling on my belly, clearing out what could've been, I've been wallowing in my own chaotic, insecure delusions".. Am I the only one who seems to think this thought more than once a day. its a pact to oneself to live quite simply, in a forward motion, anything involving looking back involves silent desperation and will only end in self-induced turmoil. I've been really into Led Zeppelin lately. Well, I've always loved Led Zeppelin and have all their albums and whatnot, but I feel as though lately, I've been at the point where I can more clearly understand what it is they're projecting with their music (other than insane talent of which I am jealous). I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm feeling musical lately. I don't feel like doing much of anything but listening to music and letting it take me where it will. and bike riding. I had a nearly orgasmic experience the other day while riding my bike. the song "achilles last stand" (Zeppelin) came on and it was getting kind of warm out (for Canada anyways) and then all of sudden it got very hot almost, but very dark. I looked up and there was this intense storm cloud just waiting to explode all over me. I felt the tension in the air as it waited for the right charge. as the rain came streaming down I just couldn't stop laughing. I had been a part of that experience with nature, led zeppelin blasting away in my eardrums, my hands soaked and clinging to the bike handles, my clothes sadly sagging off my frame with a sloppy wetness I couldn't even be upset over. There I was, and I was just that. I just was. I started to ride some more and felt as though I was floating in a completely wicked natural high that took me along with it as simply as a dandyfluff on a summer afternoon breeze. I was so alive, I got tantric goosebumps and a rich giggle stuck in my throat. I wished everyone I knew was there to experience that moment. oh the tension.
on a sidenote, today is my 20th birthday. I'm not quite sure how I feel about being 20, it seems like quite an adjustment to how I was "allowed" to behave when I was a teenager. as Tool would say, I feel the changes coming down, and I certainly wanna know what I've been hiding!
love
